


Ephemeral

by bacillicide



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Alteration, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmate AU, F/M, does not precisely follow cannon, reader is a badass, soulmate!AU, will be alterations and divergence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-13
Updated: 2017-07-21
Packaged: 2018-12-01 14:06:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11487924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bacillicide/pseuds/bacillicide
Summary: Soulmate!AU in which you can take your soulmate’s pain. Levi x Reader.





	1. Kismet

You took a deep breath as you allowed your soulmate’s pain to flow through your body. Your fingers gripped the sheets as you grunted, trying to not wake your bunk mates. You closed your eyes, hoping he was all right, hoping that taking his pain would be enough to allow him to get through it alive. It hadn’t taken you very long when you turned eighteen to figure out he had to be in the Survey Corps. There was no other explanation for his frequent injuries—the Military Police and the Garrison didn’t see nearly enough action. Once that was figured out you joined up, just like that. You knew where he was, you just needed to figure out who it was.

Apparently you weren’t nearly as quiet as you hoped because when you opened your eyes again you saw Mikasa leaning over you. She was quiet as she examined your face, taking in the pallor or your cheeks and the whites of your knuckles as you grasped at the sheets, “him again?” she asks, tonelessly, though you flattered yourself that she was actually at least somewhat concerned. The girl didn’t seem to care for much but her friends Armin and Eren, but you’d like to think she was warming up to you too. She had seen you taking his pain one other time before now, but you never revealed your thoughts about him being in the Survey Corps.

“Yes. Is it time to get up?”

She nods as the pain fades away. You breathe out a sigh of relief, it had only hurt for a moment, so he wasn’t seriously injured. A fall maybe? A titan that got a good hit? You shuddered to think of it, but Mikasa had already moved away to get dressed so you followed suit. You looked around you as you dressed. This would be the last time you were in this room, because tomorrow you would be a member of the Survey Corps and that much closer to _him_.

-

You were at Headquarters when the news came in that the wall broke.

Everyone was somber-faced, some were crying.

You were a scared as anyone else in Headquarters as you filled your gas tanks, preparing to engage. It was now possible, you thought, to die before you even figured out who it was in the Survey Corps that was connected to your soul.

“Good luck,” you nod to Armin and Eren as you follow your squad. Mikasa was sent to the rearguard but you were being sent to front to engage the titans head on. You took the news with equanimity, despite your fears. This is what you signed up for, wasn’t it? Joining the Survey Corps, looking into the eyes of titans would be your job from here on out. If you died here, then you certainly weren’t cut out for it.

Eren and Armin nodded to you, both of them uncharacteristically serious.

You gave them a grin through your fear and a victory sign as you left.

It wasn’t very long before you saw your first titan—and it was your very first. The pictures and stories you heard wasn’t enough to do them justice: they were uncannily human, yet very clearly not. This titan had a large mouth that was as wide as it’s face, it’s eyes empty of emotion, but blown wide as though surprised.

You shuddered, but didn’t take the time to fully consider—you couldn’t afford to freeze up or give into your fear. Your cables shot out and you swung in a graceful arc, causing gasps from some of the cadets in your squad. You swung around, using a burst of gas to speed up and spun your body, slicing a neat chunk from the neck of the titan. It fell to the ground heavily as you landed on a roof opposite the rest of your squad.

They looked at you with wide eyes.

“How did you know how to do that?” one of them asked.

“Hush,” one of the others mumbled, “she placed third in the top ten, only behind Mikasa Ackerman and Reiner Braun.”

You flash them a smile, “Come on, we are going to get out of this alive.”

-

“Armin? Armin?” You shook the blond’s shoulder. His eyes were open but unseeing, and if you were being perfectly honest, it scared you more than the titans. _What did you see?_ All the other recently graduated cadets stood around you, spread out on several rooftops, including your own squad which true to your word, survived this far. You could hear them whispering hopelessly, trying to come up with a plan that was only immediately shot down by someone else.

“We can’t just sit here,” you say finally, standing up, “if we sit here, we die.” You looked out, beyond the wall, where the Survey Corps had left just that morning. You couldn’t afford to die, not here. Not now when you were _so damn close_. “I want to live!” Your voice was higher than you remembered, testament to the fear that was consuming your body, “I’m going to live, regardless of what you guys decide to do. I’m going to clear out those titans even if I have to do it on my own. I refuse to die here!”

You dropped off the building, your cables shooting out as you sped towards Headquarters. You spun around titans, taking out three titans who had lined up in a perfect line just for you. A fourth however, managed to grab your wire slamming you into a roof where you rolled a few times before coming to a complete stop.

 

 

\- Levi -

 

Levi felt the tell-tale tingle in his body as they rode break-neck speed back to Trost. It was the first time he had ever felt what seemed to be a serious injury from his soulmate and with some hesitance he allowed the pain to flow into him. It caused him to grip his reins much, much harder.

He must have made some sort of noise because Petra looked at him in concern, “Heichou?”

He didn’t grace her with a response, grumbling out a mere “tch,” and kept his eyes trained directly in front of him. What was the damn brat up to? All he knew about her was that she must be much younger than him, due to the fact she had only began taking his pain for him three years ago, which must have been when she hit eighteen. If he was correct about her age, then that made her the right age to be a new cadet in the military… Erwin had turned the whole regiment around on the hunch that something was happening in Trost. Was she fighting titans right now? While he wasn’t there to help? Even worse, maybe she hadn’t joined the military and was instead fleeing from titans. Dread settled in his gut, he could not describe even to himself what that made him feel.

Wordlessly, he urged his horse to go _faste_ _r._

 

\- You -

 

You looked up gratefully as Mikasa swung recklessly by, taking out the titan that had grabbed you. Then relief flooded your system, and you realized with some amount of giddiness that your soulmate had taken the pain of your fall for you. He had never done that before, no matter how many injuries you had gotten during training. Somehow, he must have known that this time you needed it.

Getting to your feet, you checked your gear and was surprised to see it was still functioning properly. With a grin, your mood buoyed by your soulmate’s gesture, you swung behind Mikasa, joining the ranks of your friends that seemed to have bull-rushed after you. You couldn’t help but feel a small swell of pride—they had decided to follow you.

Taking that responsibility to heart, you shouted at your companions to make it to headquarters before they ran out of gas. You heard a respondent affirmative and your heart gave a little soar, though looking around you realized you could no longer see Mikasa.

Armin was suddenly next to you, looking at you with a worried expression. The two of you turned to see Mikasa once again swinging with reckless abandon, slicing through any titan in her way.

“Eren is dead,” Armin says without looking at you and your head jerks around to look at him. His eyes are dry now, but you can still hear the tears in his voice.

It suddenly hit you what he was trying to say. Mikasa.

You craned your neck in time to see Mikasa fall.

“Shit!”

You and Armin rushed towards her, as fast you could without wasting your gas. Landing next to her, you found her staring at a titan, it’s back turned to the three of you. The three of you jumped onto the nearest roof, off the ground.

“That titan,” Mikasa says, her eyes distant, “it’s killing other titans.”

You look at her in surprise, “that’s never been reported before.” Sure enough, right before your eyes you watched as that titan killed a rather creepy looking abnormal by grabbing it by the neck and tossing it into buildings. It looked _angry_. No, beyond angry, you thought. That’s what rage looks like.

“I’ve got an idea,” Armin says and you lean forward to listen.

- 

Pixis put you in command of your own squadron: mission to keep the titans off of Eren Yeager and Mikasa’s squad.

The four of you were caught up in making sure that any titan that broke away from the wall was immediately exterminated, so you were late on the scene after Eren’s titan form collapsed after carrying that damn rock.

Commanding your squad to remain alert you dropped two titans on your way to Armin and Eren’s limp figure. Dropping next to them, you grabbed a hold of Eren, helping Armin pull him out.

“Shit, we are going to have to cut it!” You say after a moment, feeling time running through your fingers. Armin’s protest was lost on your ears as you efficiently cut the flesh holding Eren in. The three of you tumbled off the titan’s corpse only to come face to face with two other titans that had you in their sights. Your throat went dry and you wanted to scream.

Then, almost faster than you could see, a figure sliced through the titans. You could barely hear Armin’s “Mikasa--?” but you knew it wasn’t her, even before you saw the rippling Wings of Freedom. Your heart leaped into your throat as he turned.

“Oi brats, what’s the situation here?”

His question was directed at all of you, but his steel eyes were focused on yours.

-

You had watched the trial for as long as you could until Levi began beating the shit out of Eren. You slipped out then, your heart in your throat. You knew it would be over soon, you could only hope that the Survey Corps would win.

You waited just outside for Eren and Levi to exit the courtroom. 

When Eren arrived looking more beat up than he did after fighting the titans, Petra and Hange let you dab antiseptic on his facial wounds.

“What are you doing here?” His voice is gruff, you wonder if he’s in more pain than he’s letting on. He looks like a mix of angry and ashamed, so you don’t take his lackluster greeting to heart.

“I thought after that little show, you might want to see someone that doesn’t care if you’re a titan or not,” you say with a warm smile.

He’s silent for a moment. “Armin said nobody died in the squad you led.”

You look at him in surprise at his choice in topics, “that’s right. Not this time, anyway.” you sigh, “it wasn’t enough though. Other squads were practically decimated.”

At that Eren’s hand shoots out and grabs the wrist you were using to treat his wounds. You yelp in surprise and pain.

Then, quicker than you can follow with your eyes, Levi rips Eren’s hand off yours, positioning himself between you. That’s all it took for his squad around you to immediately be on the defensive. His grip on yours was painful; the room silent as Levi’s glare was trained on Eren. Despite the intensity of his face his tone was even, though you thought you could detect an edge of anger, “what do you think you’re doing, Yeager?”

Eren looked shamefaced.

“I’m sorry,” you blurt out, “it’s my fault. He didn’t know I injured that wrist in Trost. It’s not a big deal,” you wanted to give Eren a reassuring smile but Levi turned his body, blocking your view of Eren and vice versa. You felt the pain ebb out of your wrist, leaving a gentle tingle that let you know your soulmate absorbed the pain for you.

“I didn’t know you were injured,” Eren said quietly.

Levi finally released your hand though he still stood between the two of you as if to prevent further contact.

“Get out of here and get that looked at, brat. You’re useless if you can’t use your hands.”

You look at Levi, your eyes locking with his. There was clearly no arguing with an expression like that, so you slammed your fist onto your chest, “Sir,” you tried to smile at Eren as you left, but you still couldn’t see him behind Levi.

 

\- Levi -

 

_What the hell just happened?_ He had felt the tingle in his wrist from her pain, heard her yelp almost simultaneously and before he knew what was going on he was between them—ripping Yeager off of her and alarming his whole squad while he was at it. He couldn’t question the evidence, that girl was his soulmate, the one who had been taking on his pain for the last few years. She had been there, when he first came over the wall and he had been a little struck by her, he could only imagine that it was the same for her. This connection between them was far from subtle. He would have be more careful in the future. He couldn’t let her become a distraction.

She definitely didn’t know. Not yet, anyway.

“Yeager.”

“Sir!”

“That girl. What branch is she joining?”

“You mean (Y/N)? She’s been set on the Survey Corps, even though she ranked in the top 10,” Eren, still looking guilty appeared to be trying to talk up the girl, “Pixis assigned her to lead a squad when we sealed up the wall,” he added.

He was smart enough to speculate that it wasn’t a coincidence. He had been hurt enough over the years for someone to figure out exactly what he did for a living. He would go as far as to say that she knew he was in the Survey Corps which meant she would on the look out for him. Something welled up inside of him as he thought about those eyes that met his own without fear. There had to be a reason fate tied the two of them together and he was determined to find out why. 


	2. Annihilation

You hadn’t expected things to move so quickly once you joined the Survey Corps, but then again, why would they wait? Expeditions were what they did after all. So there you were, riding out of the walls with the rest of the soldiers that made up the 57th expedition.

You had also been fairly surprised to see your position int the formation: the right rear. It was definitely safer than most, though going outside of the walls guaranteed that nowhere was safe. But more than likely, the squads in the right front and middle would hit the titans before you did.

You rode for a little while next to Armin, who’s position would be in the middle right, just ahead of your squad. The boy was much more cheerful than you were feeling. You had been nervous in Trost, but at least you could count on the town providing an ideal environment for 3DMG. Here, there were scattered trees and small clusters of dispersed buildings which could be used if you happened to encounter a titan nearby, but the rolling, grassy fields presented a very real problem.

“Are you worried?” Armin asks, breaking through your thoughts.

You give him a smile, “yes. Aren’t you?”

“Yes,” he looks down at his hands, “I’m worried about being a burden to my squad and I’m worried about how many of my friends won’t make it back alive.”

You nod, “come back alive, Armin.”

“You too, Rae.”

“I have no intention of dying here, don’t worry,” you let out a nervous laugh. Little did he know, you had no choice, you couldn’t die here. Not with so much undiscovered. Not when your goal was _finally_ within reach.

You rode in comfortable silence for a little while longer, until it was time for the formation to spread out. “See you later, Armin!” you wave as you slow down, letting Armin and his squad gain distance on you. You fall back into place among yours.

It wasn’t long before you and your squad were effectively alone and on the lookout for titans. Your squad leader was named Zeagan—a burly man whom you strongly suspected was a lot nicer than he let on. Ian, Perry and Wyatt were the other cadets in your group, though you were the only new recruit. Perry and Wyatt were full of laughter and jokes that only got more rambunctious as time went on with no appearance of titans.

Then you could see ahead, where you approximated Armin would be, a black shot in the air for an abnormal.

“Cadet Maybee,” Zeagan called, “send up the black flare.”

You were about to ask why, but turning your head in the direction of your squad your question was answered. Crawling out from behind the abandoned buildings was an abnormal, on all fours. It’s eyes were covered by a head of shaggy hair, but you could still see teeth of it’s wide grin.

You shot up the black flare as your squad prepared to engage and rode after them.

Rounding the side of the building, your heart dropped into your stomach.

The buildings had been hiding three more titans, all of whom had spotted the humans on the way to exterminate them. You felt panic clawing up your throat in a way you hadn’t experienced back in Trost.

“Rae,” Zeagan spoke, suddenly close. He looked grim, and you could see the serious expressions on Perry and Wyatt’s faces, “you need to go to the middle of the formation and let them know that the formation has broken here.”

“But,” you say, staring at the titans that were heading straight for Ian, who leaped off his horse with his 3DMG, “we haven’t died we can still--”

“That’s an order,” Zeagan began to steer his horse towards the rest of the squad, his back facing you, “alert the middle.” He took off at a gallop and you watched for only a moment before swinging your horse around back the way you came, taking off in the direction you assumed the middle would be in the formation.

You hadn’t gotten that far when the emergency flare went up from Zeagan. You stopped your horse, biting your lip. It only took you a moment to turn back at a full gallop.

When you arrived back on the scene, there were three titans left, including the abnormal crawling on four legs. You shot out your cables, attaching to a nearby tree and used it to swing up above the titans. With a fierce slash the first one crumbled to the ground. Before you could detach your wires and swing around to the next one, you felt large fingers engulfing your bottom half. You kept a hard grip on your blades, panic engulfing your body as you stared into the eyes of the titan that had you in it’s grasp.

_No, no, no._

Your mind stuck on that word as if it was a mantra, panic gripping your lungs. Swinging your blades down with all of your might, once, twice and suddenly in a spray of blood you were free. You shot out your cables as fast as you could in your panic, causing your arc to be imperfect, your legs skimming across the ground. You could feel the rocks grating your skin but you gave a little push with your gas and swung up, slicing through the titan’s nape.

Still filled with panic you landed awkwardly on the building’s tiles.

“Squad Leader Zeagan,” you breathed, watching as the last titan considered you, Zeagan hanging limp from it’s mouth. You swung up again, using both of the buildings and used all of your strength for the last blow. It crumpled beneath you and you jumped down, rushing to it’s mouth. Zeagan stared at you with distant eyes, bleeding out from his bottom half.

“Rae, I gave you an order,” his voice was quiet and raspy.

“I know, I know, I’m so sorry.” You say, your breath shallow as you dropped to one knee. You lifted him ever so gently so he rested against your body. You swallowed back tears upon the realization that he was going to die right here and there was nothing you could do. If you hadn’t left in the first place, if you had stayed instead….

“When you left, three more came out of nowhere,” his breathing was getting more and more labored, “too many for us all at once.” You did a mental calculation, that meant your squad had managed to knock out four before you arrived. His hand, already cold and clammy pressed into yours. You gripped it in response before you realized he was pressing something small and metal into it, “my wife,” he explained, “Opal. Give this to her.”

“I will,” you promise, realizing that tears were beginning to fall down your cheeks. Zeagan didn’t seem to notice. You sat in silence for awhile, your thumb running gentle circles over his hand until his breathing stopped altogether. You gently shifted him off of you, looking at the object in your hand. It was a ring on a chain. You slipped it into the breast pocket of your uniform and that’s when you let yourself fall apart. The panic gripping your heart made it exceedingly difficult to breathe. You put your head between your legs, your breathing more like gulps.

You weren’t sure how long it was until your breathing became less labored and you were able to lift your head to look around for your horse. It was waiting patiently nearby the battlefield and eyed you warily when you approached but did not bolt. Grabbing the reins, you swung yourself back into the saddle, wincing as your scraped legs bumped into the saddle leather.

You had no way of knowing how far the formation managed to travel without you. Knowing that, you decided to move forward until you joined up with Armin’s squad. From there you should be able to warn the rest of the formation about the gap. You urged your horse into a full on run.

-

Armin sits patiently as Reiner wraps his wounded head. Nobody’s saying anything, but he knows that if nobody answers the signal flare then someone will have to be left behind. He also knows since he’s injured, he’s the logical choice to stay behind. Why waste a perfectly good soldier to save the life of an injured one? Plus, Armin has no illusions about his value versus the value of people with physical strength—he lacks the athletic ability that earned Reiner and Jean a spot the top 10. That’s why, he thinks miserably, he should be the one left behind.

Jean abruptly stops his whistling, squinting in the distance, “It’s Rae!” he suddenly whoops, waving his arms frantically.

You pull up in front of the boys and they take in your appearance, which you suspect is as bad or worse than theirs, “thank god you guys are okay. I saw the destruction on the way here. Looks like a stampede went through there.”

Armin looks up at you, his big eyes full of worry, “what happened to the rest of your squad? Did you meet the Female Titan?”

You swallow hard, “dead. What’s the Female Titan? I don’t think I saw one like that.”

“You would know if you saw it,” Reiner jumps in, gathering the reins of his horse.

“It doesn’t matter, we need to get to Eren as soon as possible.”

“Wait why? What’s going on?” Your heart dropped to your stomach.

“I think the female titan is going after Eren,” Armin explains patiently as Reiner helps him onto the horse behind him, “we need to find him as fast as possible. Don’t forget to put your hoods up, I don’t think she will kill anyone she suspects might be Eren,” the blond says as he pulls his hood over his face.

Jean climbs on behind you, “do they know that the right side has lost two squads already?”

They shrug, “More than that, probably,” Reiner admits, turning his horse and taking off. You follow close behind.

-

“We don’t have to fight them right? Just keep them here?” Sasha asks as everyone watches the titans from the top of the trees.

You shrug as all of you hear a roar in the forest. Mikasa shot off immediately in response and you swore, immediately launching yourself after her. You could hear one of your fellow cadets yelling at you to come back but you kept going, swinging alongside Mikasa. She shot you a glance before giving you a slight nod.

Then you saw the bodies.

You didn’t have time to fully see who lay there broken as Mikasa wasn’t slowing down. But you saw it was Levi’s squad—what was left of them anyway. You didn’t think you saw the heichou anywhere, or Eren for that matter. Landing next to Mikasa on the branch she stopped at, you realized why you hadn’t seen Eren yet: he was busy getting eaten by what you could only imagine was the Female Titan Armin had talked about nonstop on the way to the forest.

“Wait, Mikasa!” You shouted as she went after the Female Titan, using her full speed to land a series of attacks against their body.

You swear again and follow suit, launching your attacks at the titan as fast as your scraped legs will allow. You can hear Mikasa’s demands for them to let Eren go, before her movement is halted. Mid-swing, you look at her to find her struggling in Levi’s grasp. You see his lips move, probably speaking to her but he’s staring directly at you. You quickly spin off of your current trajectory and using a single cable to swing yourself back around, falling in line with your captain and Mikasa.

“Follow from this distance,” he says in that cold monotone of his, “I will distract her and you two will go for Yeager. Our only task is to save him, do you understand? Do not try to kill her.”

“Why? She killed your friends you know, you coward.”

“Mikasa!” You protest instantly. You feel a throb in your heart. You had barely known the people in your squad, you could only imagine how he would feel, having worked for so long with his, “blaming him isn’t going to get Eren back. Get your head together or you’re going to get yourself and most likely me killed. Then who’s going to protect Eren?”

“You didn’t have to come.” She turned her head away from you, as if ashamed.

You feel the sting of her words and you sigh, “I’m not interested in letting anyone else die today.”

As your small group catches up to the Female Titan, you watch in awe as you see Levi truly fight for the first time. He hardly seemed to pause between attacks, using incredible speed and a spinning technique to practically cut seams into her limbs. You waited with Mikasa, watching for the perfect opening until you saw her move in for a shot her nape.

“Fuck!” You manage to scream before knocking Mikasa out of midair with your body, taking the brunt of the titan’s knuckles. You cry out as you swear you feel your bones cracking. You crash through some branches, frantically shooting out your cables to catch your fall. As the cables grow taut they jerk your body painfully, causing you to cry out louder than you intended.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I'm sorry for the chapter cutting off rather suddenly, I had a really terrible day at work and I decided I wanted to get it out quickly for you guys.
> 
> Thank you for all your comments! They really inspired me to keep going on this story.
> 
> Thanks all! <3


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